Are fighting games helping me as an introvert?

30 September 2024 • Andy Corrigan

I am an introvert. I don’t merely mean that I’m quiet and mind my own business, though that is also true.

My case of introversion is extreme. Being around others who are not my wife and cats drains my energy faster than Elon Musk drains Twitter’s value. That is to say, of course, it drains my energy very quickly and, like Elon’s Twitter, leaves me unable to function all that well.

Before the bliss of remote work, I endured daily energy drain in buildings almost scientifically designed to sap my energy; the office. The petty BS of office politics, forced social interactions (What about that weather? Fnar, fnar.), and the unending, trite distractions were routinely enough to leave me without drive and desire to do the things I enjoy, even in my free time. My weekends, precious to me as they were, existed only so I could recharge.

Hey, it’s you time! Want to work on that thing you’ve been wanting to write? Nah, no energy left! Want to enjoy that new game you just bought? Sorry, we’re fresh out of motivation! Want to sit and read a book or comic? We have lots of ‘sitting and staring blankly’ in stock, can I interest you in those instead?

Energy depletion isn’t the only factor of being an introvert, though. There’s Olympic-level over-thinking that goes into every single social interaction. Am I saying the right thing? Oh shit, I’m mumbling again, aren’t I? I really hope that wasn’t weird to say. Did that joke land, I couldn’t tell? Am I standing how real human beings stand?

If this all sounds very exhausting, it is! Even doing things with friends and people I actually like and want to be around takes mental preparation and still saps my energy. The cost has always been a hangover-like state for days after social interaction.

So, it must seem weird for someone wired like me to choose to regularly travel somewhere to play competitive fighting games with other people. Let me assure you, it is weird, which is why I’ve had several failed attempts and hesitated for quite a while before taking the latest leap.

Being around Dee Jay would tire me the hell out of me...

So, despite everything I said above, why did I start going? A combination of things, I think.

Firstly, I love playing fighting games against other human beings. If I didn’t go to locals, I’d still be playing Street Fighter 6 online.

Secondly, shortly after Street Fighter 6’s release, I wasn’t really improving as much as I’d like by only playing online and, having lurked in local fighting game Discords for a while, I liked the sense of camaraderie I saw. There was banter and jokes from recent events. I admired how people helped each other solve weaknesses through tips and practice. The fact I’m not naturally equipped to deal with socialising doesn’t mean I don’t like the idea of it.

Whatever caused the compulsion to stop lurking on the local fighting game community’s Discord and get involved, however, it’s proven a worthwhile challenge and one I’ve mostly risen to. That’s taken some time, though.

My first time at an in-person event was a tournament, which was quite the trial by fire. Not only was I heading into a building of people I’d never met, but I was doing so when everyone felt their most competitive. Yikes.

To help with my social integration, I latched onto the first person who was nice to me (hey Steve, if you’re reading) and I just did my best. I ended up leaving shortly after getting knocked out, the strain of trying to be the least awkward version of myself already weighing heavy on my shoulders. By the time I got home, I was wiped out and could barely stay awake.

The key takeaway, however, was that I really enjoyed myself. The desire to keep going was there even with the social hangover.

That was a little over a year ago, and I’ve been going to locals semi-regularly since. As I’ve stuck with it, I’ve found the cost of social interaction decreases over time and the invoice for taking part seems to arrive much later than it used to.

In the first few months, I’d feel the effects of a depleted social battery immediately after and it would last for several days. Recently, however, instead of feeling like shit on my homecoming, it’d be the next day, then a few days later still. The length of time it takes to recover from locals has also shortened; it used to be anything up to 3 days, now it’s a single day if that.

So gradual is this process that I almost missed how the impacts lessened over time.

Sadly, it’s not a permanent improvement. If I skip a few weeks’ attendance due to other commitments, the next time will hit much harder in the days that follow. Still, it’s more easily recouped than it used to be by reverting to a semi-regular schedule.

Kill nor cure?

I don’t know how the change in social recovery time would transfer if I needed to return to an office environment or be at any other social engagement, and won’t until I’m in those situations. The fact I’m doing an activity I enjoy, something I did a lot as social interaction in my youth, is very likely a contributing dampener and helps curtail the effects.

You also can’t cure being an introvert. I will always suffer after being around other people to some degree and fighting games will not change that.

However, since joining my local FGC, I’ve realised I can build better resilience and tolerance for social interaction by merely sticking with it. Just as the muscle memory needed to fire off complex inputs at a frame’s notice takes time to become natural, social interaction is something you can work at to improve. An activity with like-minded people is probably the best place to do it.